LGBTQ adoption

David and David were uncertain if their dream of having a family would ever come true. Watch this touching story of love, adoption, and true family.

 

People are like, oh you have two dads, that's a little weird. I'm like, it's not weird, it's just different, and different can be better.

Eleisha was 17 months old when we first met her. She thinks very deeply and it's astounding to us, really. Anisha just can't get enough of K-pop. K pop is Korean pop, almost every single song has a dance to it. Mekhi's got this tremendously outgoing personality. Everything rolls off his back, too.

Girls, does Mekhi cheat?
[in Unison] Yes.

Thank you.
(laughs)

To be honest, if I didn't have these two dads, I don't know where my life would be right now. We wanted a family, and they needed a home, so it was kind of a win-win. There we go. This is not one of our three adopted children, this is our fourth adopted child. There we go.

We met in 1992, as sophomores in college. I fixed him up in a relationship that didn't work out, and that was pretty much the catalyst for us finally being together. It actually worked out really well. We really had a strong sense that if we were to live our life and come out, that we had to say goodbye to any hopes and dreams of having a family.

So, part of coming to terms with coming out, was coming to a realization that you may never meet somebody with the same family goals, and have a family. All right, let's see what we've got left to eat.

(soft piano music)

Hit Hello, hello, baby you can... I forgot, what's, what's, how's it go again? Good morning.
We had a lot of worries and fears in relationship to the adoption process; what it would be like in relationship to two dads. Especially if you adopt children who aren't of the same race as you, they have to deal with having two dads, being different races, what kind of questions does that raise for their friends or their friends' parents?

There's some kids at school that say stuff, cause' like I have two dads that I'm gonna be gay, or how I was adopted and if they're married or not, but it doesn't matter to me. For me, I understand. I'm just so grateful for them.

This is Mekhi on two wheels! Everyone say yay! Yay!

People are always like, oh my God I love gay people, they're so funny, I love-- oh my God I wanna meet your dads, you guys are so funny! And I'm like thank you? Yeah, thank you. The two of us were walking with the social worker down a path, and you could see the playground and the three kids, and the two of us immediately just looked at each other and said, this is it, it's gonna work out. They had these traits that you could see in them at four years of age, three years of age, and 17 months old when we first met them.

Our middle daughter was bossing everybody around on the slide. I am a boss. Wait, being a boss and being bossy are two different things. I'm not that bossy anymore. Anymore.

(children play)

Eleisha, it doesn't go like that. And Eleisha was just in the little swing staring up at the sky, and Mekhi was on the basketball court. Ten years later. He just joined the freshman basketball team, so it's great to see that what he liked doing as a little kid is kind of playing out.

(cheering)

It was all perfection, it was exactly what we were hoping for. David and I have been very fortunate, feeling an overwhelming sense that we were supported, not only by our family, but by the community. We had one social worker that came in towards the end, Miss Nicki, and I remember at one point her saying, this needs to move forward and this family needs to come together, and I think we felt like we had a great advocate who was working on our behalf. Miss Nicki sent us this email saying it was adoption day, February 17th, 2010. Ten years goes by really fast. There's no doubt it's a tough process. There were times that it really left us feeling a little bit drained. I think the adoption day for us just brought a tremendous amount of relief. It did.

So when I think of family, actually I think David and I probably both reflect on our own childhood and certainly relationships and trust, and feeling safe and fun, I think we both try to bring all of those things into the family. You know, our parents at this point in time are getting older, our three children are approaching college-age, and we both think a lot about that, and make sure that we've thought it through and planned for all of it, right?

It's important for us to have a financial advisor, somebody who can help us. I mean, there's a lot of different options, and just having somebody help guide us through those based on what our goals are would be important. Yeah, super helpful, without a doubt. Whether it's you're a gay couple raising kids, a single mom raising kids, you're all going through the same challenges, and enjoying the same victories, right, with your kids?

(bright pop vocal music)

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